Lead to Follow

The other day I came across a sign that said;Train up a child in the way he should go, and “make sure you are going that way, too.”  Of course the earlier part of this statement comes from Proverbs 6:22 and the last part of this statement hits the nail on the head with us parents.  As parents, we are commissioned to care, love and nurture our children.

Parenting these days is not an easy job. As a matter of fact, Jim and I have noticed how the world has changed drastically since our son, Drew graduated high school and, for the most part, college.  There are so many influences out there both good and bad. Of course, we want our children to be exposed to the good influences and shielded from the bad ones.

How do we raise our children in such a way? First, we must pray with our children and for our children. As Drew was approaching his middle school years, a dear  friend in my Sunday School class at the time encouraged me along with others to pray Psalm 91 daily for our children. This is a Psalm for protection.

Second, as parents we must be willing to do what we expect our children to do. For example, Jim was listening to Dr. James Dobson. As he listened he heard Dr. Dobson give this advice. “If we expect our children to clean their rooms, then we need to make sure our rooms are just as clean.”  In other words, our expectations, words and actions better match what we are telling and expecting from our children. To me, children are probably the first to pick up on hypocrisy and they are watching and taking notes more than we can ever realize.

Third, we need to encourage our children to read the scriptures and teach them how to experience and hear God’s voice within the scriptures and in their daily walk. When our son, Drew turned 13, Jim’s gift to Drew was to open the bible to the book of Proverbs and told Drew that this is the best advice he could give him as a dad. Apparently, Drew did as he was advised from his dad because now when I am tempted to color or highlight my hair Drew quotes Proverbs 20:29 “The glory of young men is their strength, gray hair the splendor of the old.”  

Fourth, we must realize that our children are given to us for a short period of time. Yes, as parents,we wish we could slow down time and keep them for a little longer. We must realize, though, that God placed them into our hands for a short period of time and then the time comes for us to place them back into the hands of God.

This last lesson was not an easy one for me being a mom of an only child. I will never forget Drew coming home and telling me he wanted to move to Chicago after he graduated college. Of course, the selfish part of me wanted him to move back to the small town he grew up in and live just a few minutes down the street. But deep within my soul, I knew that my role was about to change significantly as a parent and now it was time for Drew to follow God’s voice. Drew knew that God had a plan for him in Chicago and he had to go.  He lived in Chicago for almost two years and then God opened other doors of opportunities for him in Atlanta where he and his wife currently reside.

As hard as it was to let go and let Drew leave, I knew that I would not be leading by example if I hung on to the apron strings and tried to persuade Drew to stay close to home. After all, my husband and I have always lived away from family and I grew up living away from family. I knew the drill and all that would be involved in Drew’s living away from home.  As Drew packed to leave the nest, I prayed that I had shown him how to survive when family was not around. Along with learning how to bloom where he was planted, he needed to know that the people you surround yourself with away from home soon become your family.

At this moment as I write this post, there is someone’s child announcing to their family that they will be venturing out to new places and opportunities. I know that selfishness wants to kick in and convince that child how they need to stay close to home. But it is so important that the child be supported and respected in their decision. If it is in their decision to venture out, they need to be influenced by the leadership that raised them, following their God who created them in His image.

Yes, there are days when I wish we lived in more simple times. It would sure be simple to have family just a minute down the road and I didn’t have to plan months and/ or a year in advance to see them again.  But, our world is rapidly changing and opportunities for our children seem to be taking them to places that we would have never have dreamed about going to when we were their age.

Looking back in  our Christian heritage, I recall a group of twelve men who were asked to drop everything to follow their Master. Yes, they had families that they left to follow the call of God. These twelve men saw first hand of what it meant to lead and to follow. I am sure that they missed their families at times and wished they could run down the street to check in with them.  Though they missed their families,  they experienced miracles, blessings and God up close and personal. What an opportunity they had been given! As parents, I would like to think that we would want the same for our children. By letting go and placing them into God’s hands, we are allowing God to give them opportunities, life lessons, and a chance to experience their Master up close and personal.

My last piece of advice from one parent to another is to continue to pray for them. I encourage you to pray Psalm 91 over them daily. Again, my son, Drew is twenty-five and married but there is not a day that I don’t pray Psalm 91 not only for him but for his sweet wife, Megan, too.  It is in praying this daily over them  that gives me strength to keep placing them and trusting them in the Master’s hand as they follow Him.

“Are you leading your children to follow their Master?” and Are you going the same direction you are telling your children to go?  Take this thought with you; “our actions and reactions will make or break our relationship with our children in the years to come.”  How about it? Lead to follow?


** I highly recommend the book,  Leaving the Light On by John Trent Ph. D and Gary Smalley.


6 thoughts on “Lead to Follow

  1. April, I love the way you connected with us followers. The pics help paint the picture. But God word stands all by itself. Yes, we can no longer live by do as I say anymore. I clean with my family as a whole. We all clean together as well as pray together. I use to send the children off to bed and say,”say your prayers,” but God changed this way of doing. To include the rehearsed poem prayer we use to let the kids say. Now it is by the word of God through scripture so they may have a personal relationship with Him for themselves.When they get older they will tell you or ask why you did not live by God’s word but made them. We have to be in alignment with speaking and doing the will of God. Blessings from my heart to yours.

    A Woman After God’s Own Heart ♥

  2. this was an excellent post. i wish i could go back and change this about my life. i knew the Lord but not like today. i raised my children but not too much in church. we talked about God but didn’t live it so much. now i am in the position where i am trying to lead my children, grown, to God. it is a harder road to travel, it would have been easier when they were young. i can’t change it now, but i can live as a christian, and show my kids this way

    1. Yes, you can still lead by example and by praying for your children daily.
      Our children are never too old for us to pray for them and over them.

  3. Thank you for a lovely post. I too felt called to leave my family behind for a new life in Chicago, and I too bloomed where planted, and developed a new “family” here that helped supplement the family I dearly miss. Now I feel as if my place is elsewhere, and am working hard to not only find it, but yet wait on the Lord for his direction. It’s a tough situation when everything tells you that you “are not where you belong” anymore, yet you simply what to understand where it is next that you will go. I will trust in the Lord with all my heart, soul and mind. Thanks for your encouraging and uplifting post!

    1. You are welcome! Thank you for your encouraging words.
      Just hold on to the fact that God has a great plan for your life
      and it will all fall into place in HIS time. Blessings and Peace-April

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